The current wheeze on Facebook is lists. Whether they're one word answers, or facts about yourself, or just amusing stuff that you make up in desperation, it's fascinating learning more about one's mates. So far all my lists have been absolutely true... even if I am trying to put an amusing spin on it all.
So in the spirit of list making, here's my list to cover all eventualities:
1) Yes, I honestly do have six first names. No, I am not particularly happy about it, but there you go...
2) My mother and I have a volatile relationship. We frequently shout at each other. This is normal service, so please don't be alarmed.
3) I have a passion for museums. Particularly, the British Museum and the V&A. I've been a member of the V&A on and off for about twelve years.
4) My museum addiction means that a holiday without museums is complete torture to me. Heaven to me is museum shaped...
5) I have a peculiar relationship to food. I am constitutionally incapable of coping with MaccyDs anymore. Japanese, Italian or Indian are my poisons of choice.
6) I have a fairly peculiar relationship to alcohol. Champagne, rum or Jack Daniels. That's y'lot. (or my lot... depending on how you look at it!).
7) I am quite fond of rodents, I have bred mice, hamsters, rats and gerbils at one time or another.
8) I am not scared of snakes or spiders. I am however well aware that certain members of both species are dangerous to humans. I therefore choose to avoid all specimens of both. Just in case.
9) I have one hole in each ear. Piercing was not a particularly happy experience for me. So one hole in each ear is my lot.
10) I have all my own teeth. I brush them quite obsessively a minimum of three times a day. They may not be bright white, but they're strong and have never let me down.
11) I used to have a caravan. I love camping but unfortunately, I associate the caravan with some fairly unpleasant experiences. So I don't love caravans.
12) I love my tent. Perhaps not wisely, but too well. I am ye original hippy chick...
13) I speak three languages, other than English, quite badly. They improve mightily when I'm in the country where they are spoken. My goal now is to learn Japanese.
14) I love my pets. Sometimes far too well. My dog, Danny, takes advantage of this.
15) I had an excellent relationship with my father. He taught me a few things, how to wire a plug, change a fanbelt etc. Possibly because he knew my mother was a total dunce at it.
16) I never completed my first degree. Until relatively recently this didn't seem to matter, and I don't regret dropping out in the slightest. But now is the time for a change.
17) I am passionately fond of Italy. Whoever actually said "Italy isn't a country, it's an emotion" was perfectly correct. Even though the North is where all big industry and cool shops are, and it has its own beauty and charm; my favourite part is in the South, starting at Naples and heading down past the Amalfi Coast and Salerno.
18) I'm also passionately fond of water. I lived by the sea for eighteen months and I loved it. I would still be living by the sea if it weren't for certain factors, being perpetually broke would be one of them.
19) I used to live in East London, which was also near to water. It was quite a nerve wracking experience, but worth it; and I still miss it.
20) I am, like my mother, a squirrel. I keep things just in case. This is not to say that I am as bad as my mother is about keeping things: she kept the old and mostly broken television in the study for three and a half years after I bought a brand new one... just in case. Periodically we are living in duplicate. This can be slightly surreal.
21) I love art. Passionately. This does hark back to my museum fetish, but I also occasionally make art. I am a reasonably passable photographer, but I can't paint to save my life.
22) I love our ramshackle garden, even though I am fairly bad at growing things in it. This year I was planning on a few vegetables for starters. Possibly a hen or two. The Good Life it won't be, but as an antidote to the supermarket, might actually be helpful.
23) I bought a book on how to make a yurt and live comfortably in it, because a yurt sounds more comfortable and warmer than a cardboard box. This is my version of forethought and planning.
24) I dislike our governments, since the 1970s, they've proved themselves to be stupid, avaricious and unreliable. There is no need for an underclass, for disaffected dole queue bludgers, for children to be giving birth to children, for an I'm Alright Jack society which favours the obscenely wealthy at the expense of the masses. The result is the mess we're in now.
25) Somewhere in the grand scheme of things life turned out pretty good for me. I've had a lot of luck, I believe passionately in paying some of that luck forward.
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