Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Advertising..... or what to do with those bits in between your favourite tv programmes

I finally got over my sudden desire to write something else.... carefully quelled it and put it aside for future use (I even printed it off so I could have it in view, in the hope of appeasing the gods and having it stop mugging me at every opportunity). So I cracked on with Chapters four and five of Half Light, and they are now reposing, in uneasy asymmetry, with Chapters One to Three (inclusive), in the vague hope that someone will read them and like them enough to start some serious voting on this thing.

Of course, in the meantime, Richard, who wowed us all with Bee Bones, has unveiled Tettig's Jewels. Tettig is a masterpiece. I mean, Bee Bones was a masterpiece, but Tettig is a Master-piece. Hmmm. Raises the bar even higher. I am now starting to wonder whether leaping the bar is my object, or merely limbo-dancing under it. Of course, if I wait long enough I should be able to sneak under without even bending...... seeing as I am reasonably short.

All of this veered me round in a sort of lumpy circle to the subject of advertising. Now I don't like advertising..... some advertisements make me shout and want to throw things at the screen. I mean... honestly.... a while back there was an advertisement for a Bank. In which a man bounced up and down on a stationary carousel horse and demanded to know in a slightly falsetto voice where everyone was. What was this supposed to mean..... Our greatest customer is Pee Wee Herman....?? My current bete noire..... that stupid shopping ad in which people turn into fairies...... when did you last see a fairy in Gap..?.... don't answer that!

Okay I hate advertising. In some cases it creeps me out completely. My favourite tv show "The Bill" is currently sponsored by Jeyes/Parazone. There is something deeply disturbing about the way that man is fixated on that toilet...... he's always polishing it lovingly (very creepy), or patting it, or stroking it, or talking to the toilet block (I kid you not) as he drops it in the cistern. Yikes. And the level of inappropriateness attached to all this sanitaryware fondling in between Sun Hill's finest solving burglaries, murders, drugs deals, etc etc is surely self explanatory. I am sure I am not alone in this.

So what is appropriate advertising? How exactly does Joe Public, with limited resources, and only the ingenuity that god gave him(or her) achieve some advertising for his(or her) book? I am talking about books here, because books are something that most directly concerns me. How do I (and by extension, my friends) advertise my book (their books) to attract buyers, or agents, or publishers....... or...... (fill in the blank)?

For instance, my friend Merlin has written a book, it has been edited, honed, polished and printed, it has a website dedicated to it, but it remains largely a bit of a secret. So how do we bring Inner Space to the viewing, reading, buying public? First step has to be to tell people about it. Hence the above clever clicky linky thingy (allow me this tiny moment of html smugness!!! hehehehe).... the next step..?.. well, my devious little mind is still working on that one.

One cunning plan at a time......

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